I never questioned my sexual orientation until a college Jazz dance class. She was sexy and sharp with a killer body. I freaked myself – and my current boyfriend – out with my hesitant fantasies of her. The flirtatious way she gazed back at me made my palms sweat. Most boyfriends would get hot at the thought of his girl with another, but he was honestly afraid of losing me. I played with the idea in my head, but couldn’t wrap my brain around her parts – familiar as my own, but foreign as a lover.
Graduation freed me of my thoughts and of my
current boyfriend – too insecure and needy - and my girl-crush dissolved as an isolated incident. Never before or after was I attracted to a woman. Not from fear, I just realized I preferred boy-parts.
When I was challenged years later into kissing a woman (a Playboy Playmate nonetheless), I accepted. If Miss November couldn’t switch my team, no one could. Her soft voluptuous mouth was warm and wet and still remains in my list of top 10 kisses, but when the kiss ended I continued flirting with the male who challenged me in the first place. As hot as she was, she didn’t turn me on. And that ended my brief foray with women.
But why bring this up? While it’s accepted (and sometimes encouraged) for women to experiment and figure out their orientation, it’s still taboo for men. Which poses not only a problem for the men, but also for the women they date and often marry.
A girlfriend of mine just discovered what I had told her from the start: she was dating a gay man: a good-looking, fitness-obsessed actor-slash-model. Now, if a male preens in the mirror longer than his female companion, that alone does not make him gay. If, however, he doesn’t attempt to kiss you on the second date or make the first move on the third, or cum after 45 minutes of oral sex (which, by the way, is her “thing”)…you’re looking at a gay man.
You’re also looking at a gay man when:
1. All his friends are gay and he’s the “token” straight man
2. He won’t cuddle with you because lying on his side will create wrinkles on his face
3. He has sex with men to pay the bills
A recent trip to Mammoth led me and my girlfriend to meet two extremely hot 25 year old guys, who to me from the start clearly liked to hold the big stick. My girlfriend, on the other hand, was recovering from a traumatic breakup and was convinced they voted for bush. A trip to the Jacuzzi allowed them to strip to their boxers, and the heat of the water and the moment swept her away. I left them to their moment and went to the room. Coming in later, she confirmed my suspicions: it was hot and heavy with Number 1, her top came off revealing ample breasts, Number 1 ditched his shorts and wanted to go bareback, Number 2 got jealous, tossed his boxers and asked his friend – not to share – but for a 3-way. To both men’s disappointment, my girlfriend said no.
Would this relationship transfer to the real world? No. He texted her he didn’t want to see her again. And why should he? He merely wanted permission to be gay. Have you ever known a straight man to do a 3-way involving another man? Never!
So the lesson in this: Men: it’s OK to be gay, just don’t pretend to be straight and get our hopes up for dating the only clean, well-dressed, sensitive guy with a killer body in the neighborhood. Women: if he’s the only clean, well-dressed, sensitive guy with a killer body in the neighborhood; he’s gay. And it’s OK! Just don’t date him.
And to Miss November: You’re still in my top 10.
Graduation freed me of my thoughts and of my
current boyfriend – too insecure and needy - and my girl-crush dissolved as an isolated incident. Never before or after was I attracted to a woman. Not from fear, I just realized I preferred boy-parts.When I was challenged years later into kissing a woman (a Playboy Playmate nonetheless), I accepted. If Miss November couldn’t switch my team, no one could. Her soft voluptuous mouth was warm and wet and still remains in my list of top 10 kisses, but when the kiss ended I continued flirting with the male who challenged me in the first place. As hot as she was, she didn’t turn me on. And that ended my brief foray with women.
But why bring this up? While it’s accepted (and sometimes encouraged) for women to experiment and figure out their orientation, it’s still taboo for men. Which poses not only a problem for the men, but also for the women they date and often marry.
A girlfriend of mine just discovered what I had told her from the start: she was dating a gay man: a good-looking, fitness-obsessed actor-slash-model. Now, if a male preens in the mirror longer than his female companion, that alone does not make him gay. If, however, he doesn’t attempt to kiss you on the second date or make the first move on the third, or cum after 45 minutes of oral sex (which, by the way, is her “thing”)…you’re looking at a gay man.
You’re also looking at a gay man when:
1. All his friends are gay and he’s the “token” straight man
2. He won’t cuddle with you because lying on his side will create wrinkles on his face
3. He has sex with men to pay the bills
A recent trip to Mammoth led me and my girlfriend to meet two extremely hot 25 year old guys, who to me from the start clearly liked to hold the big stick. My girlfriend, on the other hand, was recovering from a traumatic breakup and was convinced they voted for bush. A trip to the Jacuzzi allowed them to strip to their boxers, and the heat of the water and the moment swept her away. I left them to their moment and went to the room. Coming in later, she confirmed my suspicions: it was hot and heavy with Number 1, her top came off revealing ample breasts, Number 1 ditched his shorts and wanted to go bareback, Number 2 got jealous, tossed his boxers and asked his friend – not to share – but for a 3-way. To both men’s disappointment, my girlfriend said no.
Would this relationship transfer to the real world? No. He texted her he didn’t want to see her again. And why should he? He merely wanted permission to be gay. Have you ever known a straight man to do a 3-way involving another man? Never!
So the lesson in this: Men: it’s OK to be gay, just don’t pretend to be straight and get our hopes up for dating the only clean, well-dressed, sensitive guy with a killer body in the neighborhood. Women: if he’s the only clean, well-dressed, sensitive guy with a killer body in the neighborhood; he’s gay. And it’s OK! Just don’t date him.
And to Miss November: You’re still in my top 10.
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